Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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