I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
