and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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