that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
