Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
