Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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