This is not my ceiling
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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