I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
