We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
