Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
