How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
