Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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