I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
