Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize