I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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