note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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