Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
