i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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