My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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