my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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