Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
