you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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