I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it's like iHOP with fire
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
