i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
