We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
