Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
