Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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