the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
