you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
