Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
