I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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