Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
