also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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