I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize