Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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