dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
