I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
