she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
