remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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