Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
