the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The Olympian is in my bed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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