4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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