So drunk, too bad you don't want this
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
