Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize