I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
