Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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