So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
