Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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