Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize