Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
