You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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