I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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