Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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