You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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