I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My penis needs a shock collar
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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