could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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