Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
