I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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