i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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