I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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