but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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