yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
