I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize