Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
