Your dad touched me again.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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