My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
