the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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