Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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