Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You smell like stripper and shame
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
